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Old 07-13-2010, 02:13 AM
FormerUnicorn FormerUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 119
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My screename was chosen for a reason. I've been there, I know how alternately awesome and hard it can be.

What's new and different for me is being poly in the context of a committed relationship. It's the first time I've had to take another person into account in such a way, and it's VERY different.

If I take the analogy of relationships as a betting game, before I met my husband, what was at stake was simply me and my own well-being. If my luck turned or the game was called, I could always walk away from the table. I could be playing in several games at once, but the people at the table didn't really mind. I was in some spectacularly memorable games, some that went for some time and were very good to me, but I was gambling because it was fun and fulfilling, and I had no obligations to be elsewhere.

Now, the rules have changed somewhat. Relationships are still a betting game, but now I'm representing my marriage, which has become the House. Already, the stakes are higher, but there's also more stability. As the House I have resources that I need to protect, and I am not the only person I need to think about. Would this game be a good game to run? Will there be enough profits for everyone? Who is excluded from play? Do we feel we have enough security to bring more people in?

Okay, so it's a hokey analogy.

I'm sure it's not true of every unicorn but I feel like I'm taking a much more proactive, responsible role than I did when I was being hunted, and I love the change.
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