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Old 07-12-2010, 07:42 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default Just my perspective

Redpepper and I just hosted a workshop on mono/poly relationships. One of the biggest points we made is that we don't recommend them. Neither one of you should compromise on how you give and want to receive love.

The difference between poly and mono is not in what they take from relationships but is in what they give. Neither one is more evolved, better or the natural way. But they are real and create a large gap in understanding. When truly in love mono partners commit to each other they "give" themselves intimately to that one person willingly (not including shot gun weddings). The loving mono union is not based on "I posses you", it is based on "I offer myself to you because that is how I find fulfillment; In giving my intimacy and sexuality to the person I am connected with." Monos such as myself connect intimately in one relationship at a time. Pollies such as Redpepper can connect infinitely and offer the same intimacy to each relationship.

It is a natural to desire to want your partner's expression of love and commitment to mirror the manner in which you express yours. This is what we understand and so when we see love returned to us in a different manner it can get lost in the differences. Achieving a "true enlightening understanding" of how a mono person loves is probably unlikely, just as I cannot achieve that towards how a poly person loves. The way around this is to have faith that although you are "speaking a different language" the message is the same...I love you.

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

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