I hate to admit it, but sometimes I am the person having the panic attacks. Not so much any more. but when our girlfriend first came into our lives the physical attraction was very strong from the start between my husband and her. I instantly felt threatened that I would be replaced by her or someone else.
I was insecure with my own self worth. I felt like he is such a great man, how did I manage to get him and then thoughts like: what if he falls in love with her and leaves me? Or what if he likes the way she treats him better than I do and leaves me? Or she says she isn't going to take him from me but what if he decides he wants to leave me no matter if it's for her or someone else he hasn't met yet?, raced through my mind for the first month on our poly relationship. It was only the open, honest communication that saved the day.
We talk about everything together and have worked out most of those initial issues that ac cured when we really began being poly. I had to really embrace the fact that being poly really does mean being in love with multiple people that you are devoted to and not meeting people to replace the one you have. I still have some tiny bought s of insecurity and have to be reassured by my loves that I am wanted and not a third wheel. We each need one on one time with each partner in turn, beyond just having us all in bed together. She is truly a friend and a lover to both of us and I don't have the fears of him not wanting me any more and leaving me.
I could have lived without enduring the initial panic I had but I have learned from it. I know what it's like to want to do something and then emotions get the best of me and cause me to panic. It's been a journey for me and I like to think I'm much more mature and better able to handle the challenges that come with this lifestyle.
Last edited by Funk2Lopez; 03-25-2009 at 09:46 AM.
Reason: Wanted to add more to it.