Thank you!! All the feedback has been of great assitance. Words can't express how much help talking with you all has been. She went to him last night, I moved to the spare room. This morning I was able to look her in the eye, tell her I hope she had a fantastic night, and actually mean it. He's now starting to contact me out of guilt (hes married), Im doing my best to be kind and non-bitter, and it really seems to be shoring up my emotions. Thing is, I know this guy, we grew up together, he's not a noble man. I guess where I am is this sure would have been easier if it were just sex, and/or she actually picked a good guy.
We're not hugely active in the LGBT community, but Im not talking to anyone accept 2 friends that were there about it. This is mostly to allow her to do it at her own pace, my own embarassment, and for the sake of his marriage/wife/kids.
Today is starting to be a better day. Maybe...time..I don't know...