Oh yes the big philosophical questions, I struggle with those at times too. Like I will never be able to call him my own, there will never just be us two, I will never be all that he needs. I feel lonely when I think that I do not have a partner who I can probably ever quite satisfy, or that I am not someone's one and only, forsaking all others etc,
At times I am impacted emotionally by it. I'm doing some writing around it and on Saturday night I wrote "I will never wear his ring because I will never complete his circle". Well that completely set me off into misery land. It still brings tears when I write it here. But I try to see it as cultural conditioning and remind myself that even with all that stuff I will never have, I still have more than anyone I know.
I can accept his feelings but I don't pretend to understand them. He holds me and tells me how incredibly he loves me and yet in my head I'm still thinking "but how can you when..."
It's a process and it will take time, it's not something I can come to terms with in a few months or even years probably. I also accept that now.