Thread: Help?
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Old 07-12-2010, 02:59 AM
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sage sage is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 633

Oh yes the big philosophical questions, I struggle with those at times too. Like I will never be able to call him my own, there will never just be us two, I will never be all that he needs. I feel lonely when I think that I do not have a partner who I can probably ever quite satisfy, or that I am not someone's one and only, forsaking all others etc,

At times I am impacted emotionally by it. I'm doing some writing around it and on Saturday night I wrote "I will never wear his ring because I will never complete his circle". Well that completely set me off into misery land. It still brings tears when I write it here. But I try to see it as cultural conditioning and remind myself that even with all that stuff I will never have, I still have more than anyone I know.

I can accept his feelings but I don't pretend to understand them. He holds me and tells me how incredibly he loves me and yet in my head I'm still thinking "but how can you when..."

It's a process and it will take time, it's not something I can come to terms with in a few months or even years probably. I also accept that now.
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