Originally Posted by Morningglory629
Quick questions for ya...I could probably go thru the other threads but I am waaaaay too lazy this weekend- was Mohegan poly before you? If so, why in the hell did you need to keep everything a secret? Just curious, not judging, I always wonder how things evolve or reveal themselves in relationships. Did you have cause to think you needed to cheat?
I was and I wasn't. I didn't really know that was a possibility. I met Karma when I was 19. At the time I had a string of one night stands and friends with benefits b/c I was interested in spending time with a lot of them, I cared a great deal for them, but didn't think I could commit to just one. When I met Karma I pushed for him to break up with his g/f because I felt that's what "had" to happen. I didn't really care, well maybe I did a bit, I wish I could go back and analyze those feelings with the knowledge I have now.
So anyway, at one point we had an open relationship, but then I got pretty sick with female issues and was affraid he'd leave so I did what made sense to me, take away the competition and the temptation so he won't leave. I clung and I clung hard, and then the string of cheating started.
So the more he cheated, the less I trusted. Everytime I started to trust again to be able to say lets try that again, he'd cheat again. I couldn't trust in the strength of what we had, b/c of all the lies, so I couldn't be okay with an open relationship.
There were a few guys, that had I known more and been in a different frame of mind, I prolly would have been polly earlier. Where Karma and I are now, had we had this openness years ago, things would have been different. But we live and learn.
I love my husband, but I know I can love others. Proven by my wife. So if someone comes along, I guess we'll see how it goes.