Thanks for the replies, and sorry to steer the thred in this direction - my rant maybe should've been a new thread.
They're all substantially youger than I, but adults yes. And as they've all worked or work in the trip clubs here, they can handle themselves very well indeed. Still, I just sometimes feel that I don't understand the dynamic and get lost Because of my "condition", this is very, VERY stressful for me.
Anyway - myths about poly. Let's get it back to that, ignore the guy ranting in the corner, lol.