The key to my being fulfilled in my relationship as the mono secondary is simple. I put the health of the primary relationship ahead of my own. Because I give as much as I can, what I need comes to me naturally. The health of their relationship is my responsibility because the health of my relationship with Redpepper depends on it. The other part of that equation is genuine love for her husband as a brother essentially. If you are looking for "family", nothing else will do in my opinion.
All these relationships come down to a basic idea: identifying what we want out of them. What do you want? What do they want? Once you all know this, then you can better decide how much interaction with his wife is needed.
Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes
Poly Events All Over