Sorry I didn't leave a note FU (wait - better not abbreviate your name anymore, LOL), but you'll see me on your visitors list.
OK - gotta rant, because this is on topic and happened early this morning and I hate how it makes me feel.
Violet and Lana and I have a local bar we love and spend an inordinate amount of time in because of their schedules. We're usually there on graveyard shift or very early, and it's usually empty or very nearly so. We also know all the employees on a very personal level, and over time it's become a comfortable place for us to chill becuase the staff know our relationship, have been through the various stages of asking and wondering and learning about us - a couple of the cute bartenders have even gone on dates with us (didn't go anywhere, but was fun).
This is a HUGE help, because - well, please don't take this as bragging, but we're a very pretty little group and the girls draw a LOT of attention in a place like that; and since there's only one guy sitting with them, it MUST be okay to move in... The staff is awesome at running interference for us. In fact, we didn't even realize they were doing it at first, until we overheard it once. Guys see that the gals behind the bar know us, and ask which girl is single or some such leading question, and they get shut down before they approach.
In one month, our three favorite bartenders all ended up moving, quitting, and getting fired, respectively, the new people don't know us well at all yet, and we added a 4th to our group, who also happens to stand out in a crowd (well, if the crowd is sitting that is, she's 4'9" and 85 lbs, LMAO). Adding a 3rd lady to our grouping makes it look - well, I cant' fault people for wondering when we are all out together, lol. Still - what happened today really got my goat, and I can see that as time goes on and it happens more, my attitude toward these poor unsuspecting folk is going to deteriorate quickly.
So the 4 of us are sitting in our corner being us, and a group of English rugby types walk in. Rowdy but nice enough guys. Since there are only 3 other people there besides us, it doesn't take them long to notice the girls, especially since Violet and Adrian are being rather publicly affectionate when one of the them isn't in my lap. After maybe 30 minutes, one of them approaches. He's freindly, not a douchebag, and generally just trying to break the ice - not a problem. As soon as he introduces himself and we see him scoping out the crowd as it were, the two girls closest to me slide in closer, Violet eying him directly and Adrian (very shy) just turning her back and nuzzling into me. He then says his mates and he are having a drinking contest (at 5 a.m., lol - gotta love Vegas) and would like the ladies to participate. Violet responds that we're winding our day down and getting ready for bed, politely dismissive, he should get the point. He begins laying on the charm. Lana finally looks him straight in the eye and says bluntly - "Maybe you should ask OUR boyfriend what he thinks of your idea". He laughs, then looks at the three of them, then at me (who he has pointedly ignored up till now). Then puts his hand on my shoulder in a comradely fashion and makes a joke about this guy being THE MAN! - and unabashedly continues hitting on all three girls like it was never said
Now - the proper etiquette for this situation were I in a monogamous relationship is well established. First off, he'd have had to be quite a douchebag to even approach. If he did, a polite dismissal should have an instant effect. That failing, a strong word from the male should put him away and get him some unimpressed looks from other people. And were he to continue pushing, the man in the relationship is almost required to punch him squarely in the nose, and nobody would blame him for doing so.
So how am I supposed to react? Clearly he does not know how to take her statement, and treats it as either a joke or a smokescreen. But even when Violet reiterates, he ignores it - it can't be true, right? Further complicating the issue is - well, my girls are certainly "allowed" to meet other people if they so desire, and though they've all informed me individually and together that at this time none of them are looking for male companionship outside of our group, I find it hard and borderline hypocritical to be possessive even if they don't mind. What's more, the disapproving looks he would have received from others would he have approached a traditional couple - and the unspoken support I would have received as well - isn't there now; it's replaced by anyone watching this wondering WTF is going on with these people to much to care.
So I didn't know what to do. I just looked at him funny with a blank expression on my face, hugging Adrian and with a hand on Violets knee, while Violet and Lana wordlessly stared him down long enough that he left.
And I felt really, really, REALLY, uncomfortable for a few minutes. Talked about it with the girls, who all insist that I needn't do anything, they kind of think it's fun to watch people blow gaskets in their perception when they say those things, and that I don't need to worry. But as a guy, I'm obligated to think that someday he might be more belligerent, the situation might be a little more complicated, and that I should know how to handle it.