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Old 07-30-2009, 08:18 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742

First there is the question of whether you are a "conditioned mono" or a "natural mono".

If you're a conditioned mono, then perhaps you could be free to explore multiple loves yourself and enjoy more intimate people in your life.

As a natural mono, my benefits are solely hinged on the opportunity to love Redpepper. If she wasn't polyamorous I wouldn't be able to share her intimate love. In knowing she has a loving husband I am somewhat free to take time for myself that I might feel guilt over if it was just me and her.

I could still be involved in her family if we weren't intimately in love and all the aspects I have learned from poly could be applied in a mono relationship. It has brought out growth in me and realizations I might not otherwise been pushed to however.

It's good you are seeking help. Hopefully your therapist is relationship style neutral. I don't like the idea of anyone going to see a traditional relationship or poly friendly relationship therapist because both may have a tendency to preach their own beliefs whether intentional or not.

Take care and good luck in your journey
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