I'm so ready for a padded cell right now. I got two nights of sleep and then last night nothing but nightmares. Woke up to a panic attack. Karma is out with his g/f and her non-ex? I dunno what to call him as she changes her mind every week. They are all talking about schedules and working out issues.
Karma called two hours ago to tell me his younger brother is in Jail. He's 18 and has Ashburgers. A high functioning form of autism. He got in a fight with the youngest brother and Karmas parents couldn't split it up so they called the cops. It's huge mess that's been bioling for awhile but instead of getting the kid help they hauled him off to county jail. He goes to court in the AM.
I just called Karma back to see if he got any more info, like if the kid has a lawyer, if his mom has all his medical records, how the talk withg/f went etc and Karma just gave me one word answers and treated me like an aquaintence instead if his wife. He thanked me for calling to check on him and it sounded so blank. Maybe I'm reading to far into things, but I feel like since I'm not there and not his g/f, I'm not worthy of being there for him.
I imagine most of it is lingering effects from the panic attack, but I'm starting to wonder if the Gods feel I have something to learn in a padded cell, cuz they seem awfuly focussed on breaking me. And I'm starting to wonder if they'll win.
I'm not jealous of her being there for him, I'm glad he had that when he got the call, but I feel pushed to the side because I wasn't. He seemed so disinterested in talking to me. I was getting one word answers and was having to pull everything out of him.
Any advice? I'm so frustrated right now, I know this may very well be me being to sensitive but I don't know how else to react. He did a very similar thing when his friend was killed, he wouldn't talk to me about it at all. Everyone else knew what was going on in his head but me. How do we go from being so close to so distant in a matter of hours?