My husband wanted a relationship with another lady, but at that time we where not strong in our relationship. He completely shut me out for this shinny new love of his. To make maters worse the only way they could be together was if I baby sat her kids. I told him until we had fix our relationship he needed to step back from his second. (We where having problems before he met her) we have gone to consoling and work out a lot of what was wrong on both sides. (Yup we both had issues , its never one sided)
Now we are in a much stronger bond and he would like to find some one else. (With out needing me to babysit).
So I can see where backing off and working on one bond at a time can be huge. If this is a second you need to work on just that one plus your primary.( Never forget your primary, they need your attention just as much as the new one) If you move to fast and add to many at one time there is no way to juggle that many plates with out them crashing down hurting every one.
A new love is vary shiny, but with a regular polish a old one shines just as bright.