Thread: Help?
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Old 07-07-2010, 07:52 PM
jkelly jkelly is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: San Francisco, CA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DazednConfused View Post
I am trying to come to terms with a myriad of emotions; rage, hurt, inadequaceies, embarassment, love, the whole package. I've pretty much done nothing but cry and vomit since Friday.
That's a really strong reaction! Your wife has made friends with someone she's attracted to, and when things started to go past friendship, she stopped when you told her you weren't okay. So... what's going on here? Is this about worrying that you're in danger of losing your wife? What's underneath the emotional storm?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DazednConfused View Post
Depends, I get the leave a spose if the gender preference isn't right, but taking on additional partners, I just don't know.
Ariakis already pointed this out, but this strikes me as a strange thing to say. Does your wife identify as bi-? Maybe it would help you to have a fuller understanding of how people experience bisexuality, regardless of whether she does or not.

As a follow-up question, would having your wife be attracted to another woman be a very different experience for you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DazednConfused View Post
part of me thinks I should move into the spare room until I'm certain i can deal. I feel like I somehow need to unlove her to see if I can still love her, problem being I can't shut off how much I do love her.
I don't think I understand what you mean here, but pulling away from her is probably going to do more damage to your relationship than working through your feelings about this. A lot of people find the articles on jealousy at the xeromag site linked to above to be very helpful.
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