Originally Posted by HappiestManAlive
The reay crappy thing about this phenomenon (cheaters/swingers posing as poly, and everywhere, not just online) is that it rubs off the wrong way 'round; now when I talk about poly, people who've run into this crap (whether they're poly or not) have negative views of the whole concept. PISSES ME OFF.
Hmmm my issue with this is cheaters and swingers are not the same. And why, by your implication, do they have to be mutually exclusive? I can identify lightly as a closed swinger and poly...(definitely not a cheater)
It pisses me off when everyone assumes, when I mention poly that I want a love in commune setting bordering on cultlike love fests. Actually at a recent munch, where they know I am poly, politics came up. People were blown away that I am conservative. They assumed I was a pagan hippy looking for a large family. Its a REALLY annoying way to be identified...
Actually this entire tiny subset I have just thrown at you is exactly why I identify as non-monogamist or just open. Poly comes across as too restrictive in its extreme, swinging is too...slutty in its extreme. I fit somewhere in the middle
...Poly is what I am capable of to be sure as I can love multiple
Also, I wonder how many people assume instantly that if I identify as poly that I am going to fall in love with them. I don't fall in love with everyone I shag or pickup when monogamous how is that going to change identifying as poly. I pick a girl up, date, shag,....wow look at that, I am not falling in love with her. Is that swinging, because I had sex with her without love. Maybe its not the swinger/poly's fault someone assumed
there would be love.
I see this as a slippery slope, anyways, sorry about the rant, your post struck a chord in me apparently.