Reading everything you've been through, I think it's amazing how far you've already come. As children, our values are defined for us. As adults, we have the ability to define them ourselves. However many times over we want/need to do that. We all have baggage from our parents, friends, previous relationships, etc. It's no different for poly as it is for mono people. So please don't be angry at yourself for dwelling on some of the more negative aspects of your history. First, let go of your self-destructive anger. Then you can start to put down the baggage as well. I think you're doing a wonderful job and are more self aware than alot of people I've talked to.
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