Hello, new to the site and not sure about polyamoury
My wife & I have always shared progressive views of relationships, and had an open relationship for many years, but the idea of polyamoury is new to me.
We've been together for 9 years, married for almost 3. We first started out like a traditional couple. After about 2 years of being with just each other we talked about swinging and decided that we were OK with that, and have had an open relationship ever since.
We both tried casual sex with people we barely knew, and had no jelousy issues, but the one of us that was doing it was never really excited by it, so for the past few years, we've kept to ourselves sexually, not really being sure where to go, just knowing that we didn't have to be monogamous to be happy, but not really wanting to be with other partners either.
About six months ago, I met a woman at a bar, who knew that I was married, but still seemed intersted in pursuing a relationship with me, and I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to just jump into bed with this girl, but I did like her and wanted to explore a relationship to see what would come of it.
I didn't know how to proceed and ended up doing nothing. The idea of dating another woman seemed dangerous. I knew Sara would be OK with me having a one night stand, but one night stands don't do anything for me. If I was going to be with this person (and I wanted to find out if there was any potential there), then I would have asked her out on a date, but I was worried about getting into the territory of emotional connections and what might happen to my marriage if I fell in love with this other person.
Recently my wife started learning about polyamourous relationships, and has been getting more and more interested. She recently told me that if we met someone who we both loved she'd be fine with adding a third person to our marriage.
Polyamoury seems like a good thing to me, but it scares me at the same time, I'm hoping some with more experience can tell me what it was like for you when you first started in this kind of lifestyle.
How did it start? What are some of the dangers to be careful of? When you meet someone who you'd like to explore the possibility of a relationship with, how do you go about starting it? Is it dating, the same way that I remember it back when I was single?
When you meet someone who you'd like to date in the general population (who you have no idea whether or not they'd be open to a polyamourous relationship), what do you do? Does that change depending on whether or not they're in a relationship?
Anyways, thank you to all.