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Old 07-06-2010, 04:29 PM
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clairegoad clairegoad is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ozona, FL
Posts: 203
Default so ... advantages/disadvantages of handling it this way..

I'm on okcupid. I mention polyamory in my profile.

I agree with the ideals, my daughter is in a poly relationship, my ex-bf is in a poly relationship (not with my daughter.... ) I'm keeping my options open. Since I've not actually been in a poly relationship.. okay, I haven't actually been in ANY relationship for several years.

So I've been contacted by a couple of cheaters on okcupid. (Thank you for the "rite of passage..." comment-- nowI feel like I belong..) Here's the response I sent to one...

"How's your wife feel about it?

"I don't mind being involved with a married man, who is in an open relationship, after I've talked to his wife.

"Polyamory is a great thing, and it involves communication with all involved. Are you part of the Poly Tampa group? It would be great to meet you guys at the next meeting."

"Guess I'm out! She doesn't know I play around... Too bad for me, you're interesting! "

"Start talking to her. If you're bored... she may be also.

"Of course, if you've already found several other lovers.. and are already living a lie.. the poly lifestyle may not be the solution. If you enjoy the sneaking and the lying, then an open honest lifestyle is not as interesting.

"The Polytampa group is a great way to learn more about the lifestyle. But you need to know that polys are not fond of cheaters. Examine your motives before going to a meeting.

"Good luck. "

I've copied & pasted that response a couple times. Then I realize as I'm reading this thread... Am I just helping the cheaters be better cheaters? Am I giving them information on how to justify their cheating? And I realize that cheaters and polys can change--

So what are your opinions? Do I just ignore them? or try to educate them? or..??

I'll be at the polytampa meeting later this month, if you read here, feel free to message me. (and the bound love meeting Thursday night).

claireinph (if you're wondering who I am on okcupid).
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