Originally Posted by jokutus
he was in a loveless marriage with 2 kids and was just looking for a casual hookup!!! The underlying message - He was attempting to cheat on his wife under the guise of being poly!!! Arg, how frustrating!!
***---- End Rant ---***
Well, at least you admit you are ranting.
I'm afraid my OKC profile used to be pretty much one of those. I've been suppressing what I think are poly inclinations for 30+ years now, and the only way I could think of to relieve the stress of that was to look for an illicit patrner. Okay, I am self-aware enough to realise I am 'not just looking for quick shag' as I believe I put it; maybe others miss this point.
Look, in many social spheres there is no possibility of anything as beautiful as poly - having another s.o. automatically
means rejecting the original one. Maybe he was
just looking for a casual hookup, I'm not saying you misread it, but also maybe he too was struggling to understand himself.
It's hard in this mindset to reconcile a wanted partner with desires for other relationships. Maybe his marriage felt 'loveless' because - like me - he felt he didn't love her properly because he did not feel exclusive.
It's only because I was lucky enough to hook up with a woman who is so damn smart she has worked out many of the poly principles all on her own that I didn't end up cheating myself.
So cut us repressed & confused polys a little slack there, if you please.