Drgnsyr- I get your boundaries and rules idea. I guess why we, in our relationship structure, call them boundaries is because we make requests of each other. Similar to the boundaries we hold for ourselves. "I would feel much better about you going out if you texted me to tell me you love me and that everything is okay." "I would appreciate your holding off on becoming intimate with Jane until I have caught up emotionally." These requests are designed to entice a partner to do the right thing by us.
We are not children who need rules like "no hitting," but we are also not capable as humans to read each others minds and fully empathize. We need to remind each other what it is like to walk in each others shoes and how we want to be treated.
The pay off is that we are happier and then that makes our partners happier and then everyone is happy and everyone gets to be with one another in that happiness rather than being miserable, going underground for what we need and perpetuating misery and sorrow on everyone in our lives.
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