So baby is here, my little Prince, and we are all very happy to finally have him home and attached to me on the outside as opposed to the inside. He's doing really well and it is nice not to have more stress from what could have been another screamer in the house. He is so mellow, I just hope it lasts.
While in the hospital my LD friend, who I still can't come up with a proper name for, was very attentive, wanting to talk and make sure I was doing ok, but I only really talked to him once and that was the day I finally got out of the hospital. It was probably the hormones going wacky again, but I actually felt more distanced from him then before. I would text him and not get a reply at times which kinda hurt, and the one time we were going to try to talk things kept popping up and getting in the way. I told him how I was feeling and he reassured me that everything was fine, he wasn't going anywhere because I wasn't pregnant anymore and that if I ever needed to talk just say so and he would call.
I've been talking to him the last hour or so and he was telling me about the girl he had hung out with and how he was feeling about her and the other girl he's kinda interested in and I feel envious. Not jealous (if I can't have it, you can't have it) but envious (dang, I wish I could have that). I don't mind listening to him talk about these gals, I actually enjoy hearing about his "adventures" which are mostly pg rated anyways.
I'm going somewhere with this, really I am. lol One thing that I discovered while still in the hospital is that I do love him, but it's different than I'm used to. It's very subtle and quiet, no heart pounding rushes or electric jolts or anything like that, just one minute it wasn't there and the next it was. I'm not "in love" with him and I don't know if that could/would ever happen. But I "like" him that way I suppose, and I love him as a friend.
I'm not sure why this is so weird for me. I have male friends who I love as friends, some of which I find attractive, so what makes this one so different?