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Old 07-05-2010, 01:49 AM
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ImaginaryIllusion ImaginaryIllusion is offline
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,016

Originally Posted by eternalsoul View Post
Our relationship is perfect how it is right now and I know she's happy with it. Although I want to share this relationship with someone else for more support, more affection, more intense sex, and because I personally feel it's best for a child to have more than one or two parents, doesn't mean that she feels the same way and I'm afraid that bringing it up could possibly cause issues that and I'm honestly a little scared to rock the boat in such a great relationship.
In the context of the often referred refrigerator example, right now when the relationship is going well might be a good time to rock the boat, rather than some other time when things aren't going so well and the boat is in danger of capsizing all on it's own. Yes, it has it's risks...but if your relationship is strong enough to venture into poly, then you should be able to talk about it with her.

I'm curious if you echo the same mixed signals with her? When you talk about the novel, do you have the same sentiments about the characters involved in their triads? When you talk to her about your relationship, do you use the conventional monogamous scripts that everyone is used to? (ie: "I only have eyes for you", "I don't need anyone else") Is it possible she's scared to ask you the same questions about having other people involved with the two of you?

There is the often used mantra of communication in poly...we really can't know the answers for sure, until we ask. However, I'd also suggest that you be patient. Even if she is agreeable, it might take time to find a suitable partner, and develop a stable relationship with them. Particularly if you're talking about making kids and a family, that is a big needn't be rushed.
“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.” - Chinese Proverb

-Imaginary Illusion

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