Thread: i need help
View Single Post
Old 07-04-2010, 05:54 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742

Now that I have trashed the "Everything will be fine" statement I should at least give some insight into what I would consider to be a more realistic and respectful way to replace it...otherwise I'm leaving a black hole in my thought process.

I've had this talk with my ex-wife at about year eight of our marriage so I am not completely speaking without experience.

"I have become emotionally drawn to (so and so) and am curious about exploring a relationship with them. I don't know what this really means for us but I do know that I love you and want to be in this relationship. I also know that, to be true to myself and fulfilled within our relationship, I need to explore this feeling. I know this is going to hurt you at least for a while and make you doubt our future together but without pursuing this I am becoming more withdrawn and am afraid I will end up subconsciously or consciously damaging what we have in order to give myself the chance to see what I am feeling. I am hurting too. I do not want to lose you. There are no certainties in what will happen if I do or do not follow my heart in this. I can not ask you to guarantee that you will be here on this other side of this. I can not guarantee how this will affect us. But I need your support in this, if in no other way than just to be honest in what you feel and need. If you to decide I am not a person you want to have this type of relationship with then I will respect and honor your decision. If you decide that this can work for you than I will support you in any way I can to try to lessen your hurt and see the possibility of even more closeness than we have now."

Again, I have heard a very similar statement to this 12 years ago. While the pursuit of this relationship was short lived and we actually did reconnect after this and had another great seven years, the night she spent away is one I will never forget.

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote