Originally Posted by redpepper
Or, and this one comes up often for me and nerdist, "please stop asking me if I am okay. I am fine, I will tell you when I am not fine. I need for you to stop asking me that because it is making me frustrated and you seem to be reading my frustration as my not being fine.
Had to laugh at that one. It sounds pretty similar to what Mohegan and I tend to do...
"Nothing. I'm fine"
"Well, you don't seem fine."
"No, really, I'm good."
"Umm... OK. When you're ready to talk about it, I'll be here."
"WHAT PART OF 'I'M OK' ARE YOU NOT GETTING?"
I tend to do it to her more than she does to me, but after everything I've put her through the past few months, I guess I'm just being hyper-sensitive to her moods. It generally ends in laughter or sex, so I'm not complaining.
Anyway, I got off topic here...
Joyful, I'm having a really hard time with Perm's attitude towards both you and Cue. Frankly, that's not how you treat someone you love. Now, I'm no saint - Mohegan and I got into this lifestyle because of me cheating on her - but I can't imagine telling her that she can't see someone she loves. My gf's ex is a man that I can't stand, but I don't tell her that she can't see him, because I know she still cares about him.
That's all that matters. You still love this person, so I'm not taking them away from you, because I don't want to hurt you. Period.
It sounds to me like he's more interested in owning you that being in a relationship with you, like in his mind you're "his", you "belong" to him. That's really unhealthy for you both, because it objectifies you in his mind, but also ties his self-worth to 'having' you. Not to mention how it plays hell with your emotions, and I'm sure the emotions of Cue and L as well.
Think this through. I'm not living your life, but it seems like, on one hand, you have a very healthy, loving relationship with two people who care about you. Even if L is just a friend, She's still involved, and right now she and Cue are patiently waiting for this mess to resolve, in spite of the fact that I'm sure Cue's going through some pain as well at the possibility of losing you. Which means that you have two people who seem to think you're worth dealing with all of this for. That's love, dear.
On the other hand, you have a house, your parents' feelings, and a man who, in my opinion, sees you more as some sort of self-validation than anything else. Are those things really worth sacrificing the kind of love Cue and L are showing here?
Like I said, this isn't my life. But I know what decision I'd make in this situation.