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Old 07-02-2010, 12:38 PM
inlovewith2 inlovewith2 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 117

Originally Posted by Superjast View Post
I would think, it depends where you are at, as a person

If you are feeling like you could easily gravitate to having focus on your husband solely, and you feel happy with that, then yes, you could possibly enter a state of monogamy. For however long it works for you both.

On the other hand, if you are feeling more poly/love, or truly caring for people in more then one will prove to be more difficult.

The biggest question, would be asking yourself if you are doing this because you want to, or to appease others. Also, to make sure you won`t have regrets later.

Might be best to 'take a break' and revisit it later on.
Let me clarify--I am most definitely in full-on poly mode. Were I to choose to "go back" to being mono, it would be a major sacrifice for me. One I am willing to make, but I would have to work really hard not to resent him.

I would be doing this to please him and to honor his wishes. Again, this is not out of the ordinary for me, but this would be the first time that I can think of that it has felt like a major sacrifice to me; and I do mean major.

As for taking a break, how does one do that irt secondaries? One has already told me that he will wait, the other does not yet know. The potential knows just the bit I felt comfortable sharing over email. He is in a long-time open marriage, and has exchanged several emails with dh, so has a really good grip on where he is at.

The problem is, he/they could wait for a long time only to have it never happen. Do I just recognize this as their choice? I don't know. My stomach is in knots...

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