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Old 07-02-2010, 08:36 AM
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Sorcha17 Sorcha17 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Boston
Posts: 13

New to this site as a member although I have been a guest viewer on here for a couple of months. Very new to identifying as polyamorous. About 3 years ago I was made aware of the term and read a few of the books that have been mentioned on some threads here. Very happy to have found it- I literally thought there was something ethically wrong with me. I felt relief to know that yes there is a community of people just like me and I am not so odd. I have a lot to give and need to explore every worthy relationship in it's entirety.

I am divorced but currently in three relationships: a primary bf, a secondary gf and a secondary LDR-secondary, not tertiary because it has been an ongoing affair since 1989. I am bisexual but most of my life my primary relationships have been with men. My husband and I officially split up 6 months ago. He tried valiantly to deal with my poly lifestyle and as a monogamously identifying man it was quite a fete. I love him for his efforts. In the end, he could not handle it and the stress was zapping the energy out of our relationship-although he did try to have a secondary relationship with another lovely woman, he just isn't able to feel balance or juggle the relationships. He has moved on and so am I. I was crushed at first because after 10 years I thought we were in a place of openess and trust and understanding. Towards the end of my marriage I was already in a relationship with my now primary. My husband asked me to give him up and I struggled thru a brief breakup before I confessed to my husband that I could not give up my bf, that the love was deep and valued. It just wasn't possible for me to walk away from it.

My ex and I have two beautiful children (two girls- 10 and 7) and are doing everything to make this transition easy for them. We are the best of friends afterall and have loved eachother the majority of our adult lives. So- we have a common interest in seeing our children growup happy and healthy and have been very careful to not let our other relationships interfere with that. He is seeing a great woman now, I was a little jealous at first but now I see that they are so much better suited; as am I with my lifestyle. That is me in a nutshell.

I welcome and would love for anyone to suggest other sites or threads on here that I may find interesting in exploring opening up about my lifestyle. It is still quite secret to most people in my life: some family and friends and especially coworkers are unaware, although I would like to be a bit more open about it. I also need some suggestions as to how to really keep my kids happy and introduce them to poly in as natural a way as possible- no traumatic "outings" is of utmost importance!
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