Thread: Hello, new here
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Old 07-02-2010, 01:40 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

You posted in the right place the first time--your introduction was on the Introductions board, which is the right place.

Posting your intro here can serve to start a thread, too, so don't sweat the double posting.

Now, why do you think beginning a poly relationship is completely different than beginning a mono relationship? The first step in each is to find somebody interesting and get to know them...were you expecting something different?

Somewhere early on you explain that you want a poly experience and that person will either still be interested or not--much the same as if you said you wanted to live way out in the country, off the grid or you want fifteen children in the future or some other thing.

If that person is still interested and willing to give it a try, you work out exactly how you want to approach things--you hash out the boundaries and expectations for your relationship, which is the same thing you'd do for a mono relationship.

Then, when you find somebody else you're interested in, you do the whole thing again, only getting feedback from the folks you're already involved with.

Building a healthy relationship is the same whether you're involved with one person or with several.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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