Thread: new and unsure
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Old 07-29-2009, 04:47 PM
Catfish Catfish is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: America's High Five
Posts: 300
Default Well...

Like all good relationships, ours has not been easy. We had some infidelity issues last year that really shook us up. She moved out and, unsure of whether we would stay together, we both started to prepare to live alone. During those months apart, we continued to talk daily and actually grew closer. We became more honest with ourselves and each other. I suppose having divorce on the table as an option made it pointless to try and protect the others feelings, so we really opened up our hearts without fear. And so we began to heal. That honesty lead us here.

We've both considered this lifestyle before. We've both read about it. (Read The Ethical Slut) I even had a conversation many years ago with a girlfriend about it, but neither of us were anywhere near mature enough to handle a healthy open relationship. And to be completely honest, I'm still unsure it's right for us, but I see the advantages and I'm open to explore them as long as we communicate well and both understand what's at stake. I think we do. Time will tell.

Less than a week ago, my wife came to me with this idea. She told me of someone she was interested in and I was immediately jealous, but really impressed that we were talking about it instead of breaking up because of it. I am keenly aware that people can love more than one person at a time, and I wouldn't dream of denying her an experience that would make her life richer. I guess the way I look at it is this... If one of us falls in love with someone else and wants to leave the marriage, it's going to happen whether we are in an open relationship or not. This is a gift of honesty and understanding we can give to each other. I believe it will make our relationship stronger. In fact, it already has.

I hope that answers your question. This is still very new to me (us) so I imagine our views will change as we delve deeper into the possibilities. There are still many hurdles to overcome before this is a real part of our lives. Hopefully, we'll we'll be better people for it.

Best of luck,
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