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Old 06-30-2010, 11:38 PM
immaterial immaterial is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 135

Just my .02 of course but I agree with Red Pepper. I'm consciously choosing polyamory and non-monogamy precisely so that I am finally free to be completely honest. If my honest reality is not acceptable to a potential new partner, then so be it. I don't want to do the complicated dance anymore. I don't want to start to get to know someone, get interested and then either have this big secret to tell or just never tell it. This has been my pattern with women and I'm consciously working on subverting it. Honesty first. You want to be admired and appreciated for precisely who you are, then you get 100% permission to be who you are, let the chips fall where they may.

Also, do you have any ground rules addressing this with your wife? If I were in a poly relationship, I'd probably want to stipulate that potential partners have to know about me and about the poly reality. I would not want my wife or primary leading people into relationship with her under false pretenses.

Again, that's just my .02.

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