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Old 06-30-2010, 10:56 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by MyDemonsMyAngels View Post
I WANT to accept my boyfriends need to be poly because I WANT to be okay with it...and a huge part of me wants to be with him. So I made the decision to let go of a boundary and be okay with him talking to #2 on the phone ( read through my other posts and im sure you will understand). I thought that by doing this it would show him that i want to accept him and give him reassurance, ya know?
Here is the thing...since they have started speaking on the phone I have found myself less interested in him....? Is this normal? Like why try anymore since he has this other love interest...?
First things first. Discard of the word normal. It will make your life a lot better. There is no normal.

Not everyone can be polyified. You may be able to intellectualize poly but really can't perform in a relationship where someone is poly.

Then Im starting to toss around the idea of being poly myself....then I thought to myself would i be looking for another partner because i am not getting all that i need from my primary...and the answer to that question is yes. So I quickly said well that isnt the right way to do things....
Awesome, insightful and ... well just great. Understanding is very good.

Is this normal...I am so confused I want to be with him...and then at the same time i is like im numb and dont really care anymore....and if Im with someone shouldnt I care if they are with another person that isnt me....? What does it mean if I dont care? Does that mean I dont care about him? What does it mean...when Im not around him and I kind of forget about him and this whole thing....? I am starting to loose feeling for him...and Im not sure if its a phase or if its because of the whole poly thing....or both.... i have no clue...Im so lost...i cannot say anything for sure because I have no idea who the heck I am....
Are you taking his interest in other people as a disinterest in you, thereby causing you to protect yourself by creating a disinterest in him?

ummm...and of course this could simply be a turning point in your relationship. I haven't found my wife the most interesting person on the planet the entire time I have been with her. There have been ebbs, flows and otherwise "meh" moments in 10 years. It happens. Being in a relationship isn't always puppies, kittens, butterflies and...shit something else cute...

also i feel as if now that he is talking to her there is a whole other part of him that i am not involved a whole other life...and i do not like that at all....
help....guidance.... support....
ummmm...well there is. In a V situation where the two legs aren't part of the common relationship and the hinge keeps them seperate, there will be that feeling. Unless he includes you somehow, or you become her friend etc. You are outside of the relationship. So that is "normal" I would think

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