Originally Posted by AutumnalTone
I agree that making one's needs known is important.
I'm concerned, though, that the man didn't even *ask* about whether she wanted company. I can't conceive of any relationship being considered serious with such an obvious lack of concern (or so it appears to me). That speaks to an underlying assumption that she's simply an accessory to his "real life" and not an integral part of his life.
Or I could just be cranky. Seriously. There are folks who post stories on here who tolerate a great deal more nonsense from others than I would (these days, anyway) and I have difficulty understanding why they'd want to continue on in their relationships without some serious, immediate changes. I figure I likely sound horribly cantankerous to some readers because of that.
You hit the nail on the head for me! I keep asking myself if I'd accept this type of response or behavior from a monogamous partner....and I have to say I'm not sure I'd find it desirable in terms of having someone who wasn't more turned into my needs or who would at least ask what I needed from them. I was feeling very vulnerable and not at my best self. I had already told him what was going on with me and he proceeded to tell me their plans to go out of town and that I could be in phone contact with him if needed while they were gone. I didn't feel comfortable at that point in time asking if he'd come to see me instead. It seemed to me that he had made his choice and I didn't want to appear "selfish" by expecting everyone else to change their plans for me.......but I have a feeling a monogamous partner may have done so. At least the type of men I generally have loved in the past would have.