View Single Post
Old 06-30-2010, 02:28 AM
saudade saudade is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 139
Unhappy Hell yes!

I feel guilty often. I think it might be a 'hinge on the vee' problem in particularm judging by my immediate affirmation of the idea and the lack of similar responses.

It was much worse when I was in an unhealthy vee. (I was the only point of communication, and one boyfriend wanted the other to drop dead... yeah, I know. I learned and am in a much better situation these days.) Now I live with both of my partners, and they talk a lot and are great together as friends, and I still struggle with balancing alone time and feeling guilty for hanging out with one and not the other from moment to moment-- they have different needs, and there's no black-and-white way of deciding how to share me. Sharing me sexually and sharing overnights are the hardest parts for us, so that's where I get stuck emotionally most often...

It does seem weird that the guilt angle doesn't get more attention in the literature, particularly for struggling relationships where one party is feeling hurt and one party is apparently hurtful as a result, and... Yeah.

Thanks for thinking to ask.
"I was thorough when I looked for you, and I feel justified lying in your arms." - Chasing Amy
Reply With Quote