Originally Posted by redpepper
There seems to be three kinds of touch: no touch, cuddles and sex
- how are these three negotiated within relationships, if there are at all... either all of them in one relationship or different levels with different relationships? What are the expectations and assumptions that come up around touch? What do you like in terms of touch and how much are you willing to accept the differences that other partners have in your poly lives or that of your partners partners?
I was about to say, its all based on instinct for me. The people who are cuddly are cuddly. Sex usually comes naturally, you can feel it, I have never had to negotiate sex.
BUT...I have one friend who I am very close with, I love her as a dear friend, and she is very non cuddly. We usually ask each other if we want to hug or cuddle. There is no expectation either way except for permission.
So I guess I currently base, most of the time, touch on instinct but I am aware of people individual choice on personal space