Originally Posted by all1legs
I know I have tried talking to some of my monogamous friends about what is going on in my own life right now, and am usually met with the reaction that a non-monogamous relationship couldn't possibly be maintained without utter catastrophe and heartbreak.
The funny thing to me about that (and I've totally heard the same stuff) is that monogamous relationships lead to utter catastrophe and heartbreak plenty often, too. I've also heard so many times people say they believe a poly relationship *can* work out, but it's really unlikely, and really complicated, and a whole lot of work, etc. Not that those are entirely untrue statements, but I don't think they're necessarily any more true for poly relationships than mono ones. The truth is, all relationships take a lot of work. All of them can be complicated. And when you think about it, how statistically likely is a mono relationship to "work out," if you think about the number of relationships most people have before settling down, and then the divorce rates after that? I'm certainly not of the opinion that poly is any better than mono (aside from when it's better for the individuals involved), but the notion that poly is all work and complication while more traditional relationships are all smooth sailing is just silly to me. Personally, my marriage is less complicated now than it was before.
It can be hard, in general, talking to friends who have little to no experience with poly while you're in the early stages. I've found that even while most of my friends have been awesome and supportive, they still don't "get it" in a lot of ways, and it can feel really isolating sometimes having no one in my life (aside from my partners) who have any real frame of reference for what's going on in my life.