I feel for you, and thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like perm is shutting down and shutting you out. It's really up to him if he wants to talk to you or not, and you can only do so much. You do have to be true to your wants and needs. Sounds to me like he doesn't want to talk about it and he just wants you to do what he wants you to do. I know it's not perm vs. cue but he feels that way, and you can only tell him it's not so many times. Some people just have a different opinion on what constitutes a loving relationship and I think he wouldn't call an open marriage a loving relationship. It's too bad, because a little more openmindedness goes a long way to being truly happy and healthy, but people want what they want. If I was in your shoes I would give it some time to see if he comes around, then leave. Hope this helps.