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Old 06-27-2010, 08:45 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
Obviously you and your wife have arranged this and she's fine with it. I wouldn't be, personally, simply as a matter of inconvenience. But then, considering how many of these women turn down the offer, I'm guessing it's not much of an issue.
It's not a hard and fast rule, it's simply something I much prefer to have happen. I'm actually more interested in seeing how they handle the request, actually. If they exhibit any signs of not wanting to be open about a connection with me, then I'm not likely to pursue the relationship any further. Even if they don't contact her and continue to communicate with me in a way that shows they recognize and respect my relationship with my wife, then I'm OK with things. In short: avoidance behavior warns me off and acceptance behavior keeps me involved.

The women who don't contact her sometimes just don't maintain continued contact with me. Others have not contacted her and then exhibited avoidance behavior in subsequent contact.

On the other hand, most will at least send a her message to say hello and acknowledge that they're chatting with me, which is quite enough to weed out the cowgirls.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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