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Old 06-27-2010, 04:04 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by rpcrazy View Post
My Issues: Nothing has happened yet, but given the facts, i'm not comfortable with the amount of plausibility of worst case scenarios.
-I feel extremely shitty that she completely denied all attempts to talk about polyamory until she meets some guy that does "something" for her. I won't speculate about what that something is until I talk with her
Don't speculate...some people can't see an option as an option until it is in front of them. Think of it like code. The program doesn't know the variable exists, until it is defined. Heck new languages don't even know about the variable until it is used. Same deal. Some people are like this

-She asked me "how do you think we could keep from letting "our" emotions run rampid?". This makes me feel like all the talks about NRE and what it did to us just fucking went out the window. I feel I've learned so much, and for her to be at this level of questioning upsets me.
Its nre...logic does partially go out the windows. You could try and ride it and keep talking and not let NRE ruin things or you two could talk and slow this down a lot.

Both options can work, but I see both as having negative side effects. You need to figure out what works for your jealousy and her wanton need and keeping in mind, the third person's wanton need too.

The fact is...i'm ALREADY getting jealous, it's a bad sign. I'm writing to figure out things in my head, and get perspective from you guys, because you're awesome
Instead of looking at jealousy as a bad thing, try and figure out the source of the insecurity and deal with it ....

I, personally, do think the trip is too soon. Thats an oddly huge step...I would say no to that until you get things figured out in other ways.

Good luck, keep posting and you are teh awesome too

Enough geek references in this one for ya?
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