Thank you so much for sharing!! I think your story has moved so many people on this forum. I hope it helps to know that there are so many people supporting you and wishing the best for you!! I agree about finding a therapist. I was fortunate to find a good therapist and I saw her regularly for a few years and then occassionally for many years after that.
Because of the fact that you are really needing to "find yourself", I would suggest that you find your own therapist and he finds one for himself. The individual therapists can assist you guys with your "couple" work.
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.