I was married to a man for 30 yrs. Mono for 22. (I am bi/pansexual.) We opened our marriage but it was not successful. My h didnt seem able to please me while seeing another woman, but now I know it was their NRE that got in the way. Long story. He and I broke up 2 yrs ago, for various reasons.
In Jan 09 I started dating (ok cupid) and met a wonderful poly woman almost right away. We've been together ever since. Deep love soon followed our first meeting. I have also dated many men in the past 18 mos and we've had very little jealousy issues. We are completely open with our feelings and pretty good at explaining our boundaries and expectations, etc. We trust each other to date and have relationships with good people, we don't have a big to-do about meeting potential other partners first or anything. No veto power.
My main problem w meeting poly men is finding someone capable of a mature committed relationship. I've got a stable of boytoys for friendly rather casual sex... one guy I've known almost as long as I've known my gf. They are fun, funny, and horny, open-minded and creative in bed. But I've met several older "poly" men who are married or partnered and somehow the wives always get jealous despite their supposed open relationships. Or the guy doesn't get how to be really open when communicating, acts devious, or leads me on in one way or another.
But hey. I've got Great Love w my gf, lots of laughs and sex with the 20somethings. I feel very lucky. I'll keep searching for Mr Right, just in case he's really out there.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37