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Old 06-27-2010, 12:02 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by dragonflysky View Post
Now would I routinely think he should cancel other commitments to come visit me? NO. But this definitely wasn't a routine week for me and I needed/wanted comfort and support. Why bother having a partner if they can't be there for you (including being physically there for you) in difficult times???? I've been divorced for 8 years and lived on my own for all those years. Yes...I can survive on my own, but I'd like a caring partner(s) to share life with. Could I/Should I have specifically asked him if he would change his plans and come to see me??? Maybe...but in all honesty since he was the one with the plans I would have wanted him to bring it up. And I have a hard time when children are involved in terms of commitments and priorities.
I think thats a fair concern. The idea of having a partner is that they can help. Schedules, while nice to have, should be fluid enough to adapt to special circumstances.

The problem is you not verbalizing your need. Don't assume everyone feels the same sense of urgency or responsibility to people in the hospital. For example. Unless yu verbalize your potential want, you are leaving him to guess.

Now that its done, next time you have a date simply bring it up.

Any thoughts about how to handle this situation??? I want to be "fair" and thoughtful of all partners/children in our poly situation, but I'm sure struggling with this one. And who knows.....maybe he wouldn't have wanted to drive that far and come to see me even if he didn't have any prior commitments or plans with someone else??!!
As I said up there, next time mention it to him. Don't expect him to know what you want...that way you don't have to play the guessing game of "why he didn't do it"...


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