Thread: ouch - help
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Old 07-28-2009, 05:18 AM
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Originally Posted by Quath View Post
My guess is that he either met someone who says she wanted monogamy and he had to break up with you. Or he felt threatened by other lovers (or potential lovers) in your life.
Or it could just be that he's monogamous and not interested in a poly relationship after trying it. (That discovery could have been precipitated by meeting someone...goodness knows that's how I discovered poly) People might switch from one relationship style to another simply because that's what they want, not because of some flaw or threat or outside influence that they are powerless against or inherent dishonesty with themselves or anyone else. It could simply be that they tried and and after trying it decided that it wasn't what suited them.

Monogamy isn't inferior to polyamory. So if a person does move from one to the other, I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Of course, that doesn't take away the pain of a breakup. Breakups are one of those universal crappy things that all relationship styles are subject to. Boo to that. But just as people assume that poly people don't feel the pain so deeply because they have other loves, I wouldn't be quick to assume that the pain is diminished by a new love in a monogamous setting either.
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