Originally Posted by Propast
I'm trying to learn if I can be happy and feel my needs are met in this closed V. I may not need balance in the sense that "I have equal rights", but simply balance in the sense that "the paybacks for this life are worth the costs over the longterm" (there are emotional costs to having your partner love another! hope that's okay to say on a poly forum)
I hear that! And I don't imagine most people here will say different :-) I was having a rough time with that earlier this week... having to share my partner's time and attention and not having anywhere else to go myself. I hope your wife is able to recognize that she's in danger of losing you by keeping
you monogamous, even more than by letting you explore other relationships, and is motivated to work on her stuff.
It sounds like you're able to be patient, understanding, and non-defensive, which is awesome. I hope things work out for all three of you!