we have agreed to separate with a view to possible reconciliation. As I sit here and type, I am wracked with emotional pain. I think of the way I treated Matilda and I just want to scream. It's like I found a big shiny self destruct button within myself and I just kept pushing the damned thing. Matilda would re-build us and then I'd push the bloody button again. I realise now that my own insecurities and self-loathing made me do these things and I'm gutted. I keep clinging to the 'possible reconciliation.' We've signed up for therapy and my goal right now is to show Matilda how much I love her and to prove it by my actions, day to day. I hope within my soul that we can rebuild a relationship for both of us where we are people very much in love sharing life and raising our children together.
Anger from the past merely destroys the future - Me