Originally Posted by Propast
As I mentioned in my introduction
I definitely never signed up to be the arm of a closed V. I feel like a bad-guy for wanting this, but if we aren't going to be mono then I want the rights to take another lover. Any thoughts on... survival as the arm of a closed V? ... gently helping her let go of her fear/possessiveness?
I really feel bad that I've lost C as a good friend, seeing C even in friendship mode raises major friction. This is one boundary that I will hold strong on: Neither C nor I did anything wrong here - forcing me to abandon my friendship while S keeps her lover is a mark of deep disrespect to me. I'm going to work on that this week.
I really don't know what to say other then...i truly honestly feel for you and your partners....
i had this happen with my last relationship.
all i can say is, when i was face with this same issue i asked my SO "what do YOU want" and then we talked it out... it is important to think of all three of you ... we ended up breaking up in the end. but thats because of other issues that came up too...
as for the cutting of friendship while the other still has a lover, yes.... again from personal experience with the same thing on my side... i agree that is not only disrespectful but cruel. unless there has been sum kind of boundary crossed (such as cheating) then yes...it is quite cruel and disrespectful to rip that friendship away.... but then again
maybe that what is needed? i am sorry i'm also going to play devils advocate here... do u think your SO might possible not be possessive but, is finding that emotionally can only share you with only one other person?
good luck to you all... my deepest hopes you can work thru this tangle!