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Old 06-25-2010, 05:51 PM
SayYes SayYes is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
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I understand your point about "why upset the GF about it if the ex isn't even interested anyway?" But I think perhaps it might be wise to take a broader view of the situation than thinking strictly in terms of this particular relationship you want to pursue. To me, being poly is rather similar to sexual orientation. If it comes naturally and makes sense to you to love more than one woman at a time, and to be in more than one romantic relationship, that has a lot more to do with who YOU are as an individual than it has to do with this one particular arrangement you're interested in pursuing. If you really think it's just all about these certain individuals and not something you would desire under any other circumstances, then perhaps it makes sense to feel out the ex's openness to the idea before putting your gf through any stress over it. But if you are poly, if it's a part of who you are, then it will become an issue for you again at some point in your relationship regardless of whether it's with the ex or someone new you meet down the road. In that case, I would say definitely have a conversation with the gf first, and don't start out by making it specifically about the ex, but about you and this aspect of who you are.
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