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Old 06-25-2010, 07:17 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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He decided he is not wanting Mono to move in roly. He doesn't feel good about saying yes to that. He has struggled for years with change... total fear takes over. I have waited years for a room of my own to some how transpire. Avoiding the topic all together about housing is the best bet right now. I couldn't live on my own, I have a child I won't leave and I would miss Nerdist. I'm stuck and feeling trapped right now. A horse in its stall wanting a green pasture to roam in. It's all good, I will get through and will wait for a new moment when it makes sense some how what to do next. That will come, that makes me happy.

Just for the record, I love my OH, but yes, I would love it more if it were in the lower suite of our house. So I could have a room in it and so I don't ever have to say good bye to Mono again... goodnight maybe, but not good bye. I am happy that I can be with him at the OH at all. I am happy I have two homes... I just need to get over my transition issues and feeling like I am abandoning my child and it will all be good.

Sorry Mono.... had to do some filling in. All in a happy way

Happiness? I get a *me* weekend, kind of. Of course I completely filled it up with fun stuff, cause that is what I do, ... I'm hanging with Derby and a bunch of poly women Saturday as we are watching her Roller Derby game and then watching a movie at my house and having a potluck dinner. Thought we would watch "Splendor." The boy and Mono and I are going to start making a guinea pig hutch outside. We need to keep them warm, that will be the biggest part of the project. Guinea pigs make me happy. maybe I will live with them, all cozy and warm.
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