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Old 06-25-2010, 07:17 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

He decided he is not wanting Mono to move in roly. He doesn't feel good about saying yes to that. He has struggled for years with change... total fear takes over. I have waited years for a room of my own to some how transpire. Avoiding the topic all together about housing is the best bet right now. I couldn't live on my own, I have a child I won't leave and I would miss Nerdist. I'm stuck and feeling trapped right now. A horse in its stall wanting a green pasture to roam in. It's all good, I will get through and will wait for a new moment when it makes sense some how what to do next. That will come, that makes me happy.

Just for the record, I love my OH, but yes, I would love it more if it were in the lower suite of our house. So I could have a room in it and so I don't ever have to say good bye to Mono again... goodnight maybe, but not good bye. I am happy that I can be with him at the OH at all. I am happy I have two homes... I just need to get over my transition issues and feeling like I am abandoning my child and it will all be good.

Sorry Mono.... had to do some filling in. All in a happy way

Happiness? I get a *me* weekend, kind of. Of course I completely filled it up with fun stuff, cause that is what I do, ... I'm hanging with Derby and a bunch of poly women Saturday as we are watching her Roller Derby game and then watching a movie at my house and having a potluck dinner. Thought we would watch "Splendor." The boy and Mono and I are going to start making a guinea pig hutch outside. We need to keep them warm, that will be the biggest part of the project. Guinea pigs make me happy. maybe I will live with them, all cozy and warm.
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