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Old 06-25-2010, 04:26 AM
Noname Noname is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 20
Default Am I thinking about this in the right way?

So after recently finding I might be Poly, http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3056 I have some more questions.

After reading a bunch on this site I am not sure I am going at this in a way that would work. It sounds like most start from a couple that decide to add a 3rd (or more). I have a GF and an ex that I have bounced between a few times in a year. The thing is I would like to be with both, but for different reasons. When I am with one I miss the other. Can/does a relationship like this work? Most things I have read seem to stem from a good deep relationship. I have a great relationship with the girl I am seeing now, but it has been less then a year at this point.

Second my plan is to approach the ex first with the poly idea. If she is up to it then I would need to talk to the GF. My thought is if the ex says no way I am not in a "weird" spot with the GF. Plus I am not just looking to add any girl, I miss my ex. Is this a bad way to approach the situation?

After reading I know I need to make a "list" of exactly what is is that I want and why. I need an idea of how I see things working. So this is still just in the thinking/planning stage.

Also I was talking to a friend the other night that knows my ex a little and the GF decent. Her big question for me was what does my GF get out of this. It was a valid question and one I had no idea how to answer. Any thoughts?
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