The man who introduced me to poly was a bit like this, in my experience anyway. I fell in love with all the philosophies of poly he introduced me to. Clear, respectful communication. He described scenarios of wanting to kiss another woman, but phoning first to check in. I was allowed to ask to meet her first, etc. All of his words seemed so respectful and the way poly was introduced on "paper" seemed like it held so much integrity and mature communication.
However, his actions were more what was described in this thread. It became apparent after several weeks, to me anyway, that actually, he really loved the attention from women and loved feeling powerful and popular. He particularly seemed to like showing off a) the size of his penis (seriously) and b) his ability to get other men's girlfriends/wives to want him.
His "poly" seemed to involve a fair bit of cheating with attached women.
And when he did check in with me about other woman, the description he gave of what he wanted to do with her included how badly he wanted to sleep with her, (and gave me detailed descriptions of what he wanted to do to her). She had a boyfriend and he would flirt/play fight with her in a very sexual way in front of him. It was such a power game. He would make comments about how he was surprised her boyfriend wasn't jealous of him.
A few scenarios came up involving similar circumstances. Basically, him expressing his prowess by bedding an unhappily married woman and giving her "what the husband couldn't". Or, competing with men by bragging that their girlfriends were inevitably going to sleep with him.
I found it completely disgusting!
My heart is too big to fit into one person.
Last edited by rolypoly; 06-25-2010 at 04:02 AM.