Redpepper, I know there's been some stress for all of you and would like to offer support. I thought you enjoyed having an OH and didn't want to give up having a special place where you are treated as a queen? But, maybe what you mean is that you would like to have that OH be right next door?
Are you eager to have your own room?
I agree with Mono, having good communication that gets you even a teensy bit further along is a success. But, it sounds like you need things to move more quickly along.
I was under the impression that the three of you were all decided and the next step was deciding whether to renovate or move and how to figure it out financially.
I tend to want to make impulsive decisions when my emotions are running high, so yes, maybe you will feel differently. But, I'm wondering, were you considering moving into your own place entirely? That's what it sounded like and I'm surprised.
I only know bits of it all and I'm not completely involved, but I care about all of you and if I can be of any help, I'm here.
My heart is too big to fit into one person.