Hi from Holland, Long term V
Hi all, nice to find you here. Nice to find a good place to talk.
I'm not joining the Dutch poly forum because I'm American and it's easier to go through this in your native tongue.
I've always been comfortable with a slightly-off sexuality and the idea that openness and honesty could make "different" things work. That said, for most of my life I've been pretty happy committing to one person and making it work.
My wife (S) and I have been together for 14 years. About 5 years ago, we brought a good trusted friend (D) in for some good simple hot fun together. As could be predicted, after a few months that turned more emotional between them, and we became more of a V than a full triangle - me and him on both ends of the V.
There were some tough emotional times during the transition, we did a lot of reading on Poly and communication and found ways to make things work for us. We tried buying a house together (life seems best when we all have easy casual contact) but couldn't work out the details in the housing market here, so he lives a few short kilometers away which makes life easier than periods where we were all separated.
Well, I'm proud and happy with our little family. We've helped each other through plenty of hell (crisis, deaths in all families, etc) and have a real bond.
But lately things have been rough for me, and it's not getting resolved here. Most of the friends we're out to tend to think somebody (him or me or both) is getting taken advantage of in this situation, so I'm coming here to find a place where I can share openly and learn from your experiences.
This is just an introduction, so I'll follow up with a post in General Discussion in a few days.