Originally Posted by Monounsaturated
Feelings that I haven't allowed myself to feel. I veer from hopeful, to despair and back again.
I am guilty of this. I ignored my emotions, buried them and forgot about them. I knew how to "love", but ignored many others. Re-learning how to embrace them is going to be hard, and in some ways devastating. I found myself having to re-mourn my fathers death since I had never properly mourned before.
I had to re-learn how to trust in people. Giving myself to someone so completely without expectation of either love being returned or that trust being given back.
Its a tough emotionally tumultuous road you are going to take. I am glad my first instinct is to fight instead of flee. When these emotions came flooding back and I had to deal with them, I buried for a bit...but fought them the entire way. A learning experience and one I have no regrets going through.
I find I'm going back to the remedies I used as a kid. I lose myself in loud music, I escape to the car and pull music from the pc in the house and escape for a while. It helps.
It does help doesn't it. I walk with music, day dream of things in a better time and place or possibly being a super hero. Either way it helps settle me. Just don't let that escapism become your reality. You can only hide for so long
good luck, you have a tough road ahead, but it is worth it